Why are we so mean to ourselves?

My daughter shared this website with me and it has to be shared and re-shared and then shared again.

I keep running into clients and friends and people I have never met before and will never meet again, who are so cruel to themselves. The self-criticism is constant and brutal.

They hate their hair.

They hate their thighs.

Someone even told me that they wished they had better toenails.

I am not making this up.

I have said it over and over and over and over again. Research estimates that we have between 50,000 and 75,000 thoughts per day and over two-thirds of those thoughts are negative or repetitive. We never give ourselves a break.

Now I am not saying that it’s all our faults, believe me we all know how the world is wallpapered with our own inadequacy vs. what the media portrays. But this is just insane. It has to stop.

My latest story, I just joined a local gym. The t-shirts for women are miniscule. A large is really more like a small and a small might fit a 6 year old. I am not exaggerating. The message they are conveying is very clear. This gym wants to attract thin women. Conversely, the men’s t-shirts are regularly sized. What’s with that? So men can be a variety of sizes and women can’t. Man does that bug me!

Enough already.

 

Look in the mirror and realize how beautiful you are. Because you know what, this is what the world has offered you. Make the best of it and rejoice in who you are.

Natural Advantage

 

I have been asked to talk a little bit about Kolbe’s 17 “Natural Advantage” descriptors.

Natural Advantages were developed by  Kathy Kolbe as a way to help describe the combination of strengths identified in your Kolbe A index results.

As you may  have heard me say, you are so much more than your highest number.  Each individual Kolbe score describes your prefered mode of striving. The two highest numbers of a Kolbe A index (as long as they are 7 or over) are used to determine your Natural Advantage.   If there is only one score over 7, that single number is used.

As Kathy Kolbe states in her book, The Conative Connection, “These descriptions, though useful, are stereotypes, because nobody is all of one thing.  There is truly no such thing as “can’t” — but there are combinations of talent that make people better suited to one career than another…..The particular combination of strengths in your Kolbe A Index is your personal leverage for getting things done….Natural Advantages aren’t meant to be job titles, rather frames of mind or methods of operation” on how you would approach a particular job with no other constraints, but your instincts.

The 17 Natural Advantages are…

Fact Finder                                Researcher
Fact Finder/Follow Thru      Strategic Planner
Fact Finder/Quick Start        Manager
Fact Finder/Implementor     Technologist

Follow Thru                              Designer
Follow Thru/Fact Finder      Systems Analyst
Follow Thru/Quick Start       Program Developer
Follow Thru/Implementor    Manufacturer

Quick Start                                 Innovator
Quick Start/Fact Finder         Entrepreneur
Quick Start/Follow Thru       Theorist
Quick Start/Implementor      Pioneer

          Implementor                             Demonstrator
Implementor/Fact Finder     Investigator
Implementor/Follow Thru   Quality Controller
Implementor/Quick Start      Adventurer

Facilitator                                   Mediator

I will be addressing these Natural Advantages in upcoming calls.

 

 

Kolbe Call — Know your profile and how it affects your business!

Please listen to a call I held with a number of Martha Beck coaches in November, 2011 called:

Your KOLBE Profile:  Learning how to better Understand your Clients and Your Practice.

This call was with two fabulous volunteers who discussed how their Kolbe profile affects how they conduct their business and relate to their clients.

Listen in!

In learning more about your individual Kolbe profile, you can become more self aware while becoming a better coach!

Contact me for an individual Kolbe Consultation!